#175 - More Bush in Translation

President Bush Reaffirms Commitments in Iraq

Statement by the President
The Pentagon
May 10, 2004
11:55 A.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT: Mr. Secretary, thank you for your hospitality, and thank you for your leadership. You are courageously leading our nation in the war against terror. You're doing a superb job. You are a strong Secretary of Defense, and our nation owes you a debt of gratitude.

Translation: I can’t fire Rumsfeld because it would look like we did something wrong. And we only do right. Besides, Dick said not to.

I've just completed a meeting here at the Pentagon with members of my national security team, as well as a meeting with generals on the ground in Iraq. We discussed the needs of our military personnel, the status of current operations in Iraq, and the progress of that nation towards security and sovereignty.

Translation: Rumsfeld says everything is fine. Dick says everything is fine.

…

Our priorities, however, remain the same: the protection of our country, the security of our troops, and the spread of freedom throughout the world. Like other generations of Americans, we have accepted a difficult and historic task.

Translation: We are just like the WWII generation. Heroic fighters of evil. Spreaders of freedom. Tom Brokaw is going to write a book about me.

…

We have made clear commitments before the world, and America will keep those commitments. First, we will take every necessary measure to assure the safety of American and coalition personnel, and the security of Iraqi citizens.

Translation: Liberation is a messy, messy business. Not quite as straightforward as I thought.

...

Our second great commitment in Iraq is to transfer sovereignty to an Iraqi government as quickly as possible.

Translation: We need to get the hell out of there before my poll numbers drop any further.

...

Third, because America is committed to the equality and dignity of all people, there will be a full accounting for the cruel and disgraceful abuse of Iraqi detainees. The conduct that has come to light is an insult to the Iraqi people, and an affront to the most basic standards of morality and decency. One basic difference between democracies and dictatorships is that free countries confront such abuses openly and directly.

Translation: Oh yes, there’s something been going around about abuse. I’ve waited until the sixteenth paragraph of my speech to mention this because it just doesn’t reflect all the good we’ve been doing in Iraq. Such a small, small piece in comparison to the big, big amount of good.

...

In January, shortly after reports of abuse became known to our military, an investigation was launched. Today, several formal investigations led by senior military officials are underway. Secretary Rumsfeld has appointed several former senior officials to review the investigations of these abuses. Some soldiers have already been charged, and those involved will answer for their conduct in an orderly and transparent process. We will honor rule of law. All prison operations in Iraq will be thoroughly reviewed to make certain that such offenses are not repeated.

Translation: I'm still mad that I didn't know, but Dick said to forget about it. He tells me things when the time is right. Can we outlaw cameras in the prisons?

Those responsible for these abuses have caused harm that goes well beyond the walls of a prison. It has given some an excuse to question our cause and to cast doubt on our motives. Yet, who can doubt that Iraq is better for being free from one of the most bloodiest tyrants the world has ever known? Millions of Iraqis are grateful for the chance they have been given to live in freedom -- a chance made possible by the courage and sacrifice of the United States military.

Translation: Iraqis no longer suffer at the hands of a brutal dictator. Suffering at the hands of good and decent American heroes is darn near cushy in comparison.

We have great respect for the people of Iraq and for all Arab peoples -- respect for their culture and for their history and for the contribution they can make to the world. We believe that democracy will allow these gifts to flourish. But freedom is the answer to hopelessness and terror; that a free Iraq will lead the way to a new and better Middle East; and that a free Iraq will make our country more secure.

Translation: America: spreader of democracy and freedom, heroic, good. Middle East, oil, terror, haters of democracy and freedom, oil, tyranny, oil. (Not you, Bandar - I love you man!)

I understand the difficulty of the mission of our men and women in uniform. They're facing an enemy in sand and heat and blasting winds, often unable to tell friend from foe. I know how painful it is to see a small number dishonor the honorable cause in which so many are sacrificing. What took place in the Iraqi prison does not reflect the character of the more than 200,000 military personnel who have served in Iraq since the beginning of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

Translation: I myself served in the National Guard. As an experienced military officer, I can tell you that 99 percent of our 200,000 troops in Iraq are good and decent American heroes. We’re going to scapegoat the hell out of that other one percent.

All Americans know the goodness and the character of the United States Armed Forces. No military in the history of the world has fought so hard and so often for the freedom of others. Today, our soldiers and sailors and airmen and Marines are keeping terrorists across the world on the run. They're helping the people of Afghanistan and Iraq build democratic societies. They're defending America with unselfish courage. And these achievements have brought pride and credit to this nation.

Translation: All those other nations are just jealous because America was chosen by God to be the spreader of good in the world.

I want our men and women in uniform to know that America is proud of you, and that I'm honored to be your Commander-in-Chief.

Translation: I just found out I’m Commander-in-Chief!